On October 1st, two things happened: Sober October began, and it also happened to be Less Than Perfect Day.

I don’t think that’s an accident. The timing feels like an invitation. Because when it comes to alcohol—or really any area of growth—the pursuit of perfection is one of the biggest traps we can fall into.

For years, that was my story.

I thought I could manage drinking if I just followed the rules. No drinking on weekdays. Never before dinner. Never alone. The rules made me feel like I was in control, like I was proving to myself (and everyone else) that I didn’t really have a problem.

But here’s the thing about rules: they bend.

There was the happy hour after work when “no weekdays” didn’t apply.

There was the stay-at-home mom season, when I promised myself I’d wait until my husband came home. That quickly shifted to “while cooking dinner,” then “while thinking about cooking dinner,” and eventually, “after a stressful afternoon with the kids.”

Each line I drew blurred a little more until the rules barely existed. And every time I broke one, I felt like a failure. Like I wasn’t strong enough, disciplined enough, or perfect enough to get it right.

But perfection isn’t freedom—it’s a moving target. And it always leaves you chasing, never arriving.

The shift happened when I stopped measuring myself by perfection and started asking about direction instead. Not, Did I do this exactly right? but What direction am I heading in?

That one question changed everything.

Because direction makes room for imperfection. A slip isn’t failure; it’s data. Each alcohol-free day isn’t a gold star; it’s evidence that your brain and body are healing. Progress isn’t about getting it “perfect.” Progress is about learning, noticing, and taking the next step forward.

That’s the spirit of Sober October. It’s not about proving how strong you are. It’s about creating space to pay attention, to get curious, and to discover what life feels like when alcohol isn’t in the driver’s seat.

So if you’ve already bent a rule—or even had a slip in these first days of October—remember this: you haven’t failed. You’re human. And you’re still moving forward.

Tools and Tips for an October Pause

If you’re exploring Sober October, or just curious about a break from alcohol, these tools can help you stay grounded when perfection starts to creep in.

Notice the Negotiation.
That voice that says, “Just one won’t hurt” or “I deserve it tonight”? It’s not weakness—it’s your brain trying to keep an old habit alive. Instead of pushing it away, pause and get curious. Ask: What’s really behind this urge? Stress, boredom, fatigue, loneliness? Naming it weakens its power.

Reframe “Failure” as Data.
Neuroscience shows us that every time you make a different choice—even once—you’re building new neural pathways. A slip isn’t evidence that you can’t do it—it’s feedback about what triggered you. Journal it, learn from it, and carry that wisdom into the next moment.

Ask Better Questions.
Rules lead to judgment: Why can’t I just stick to this?Instead, try: What was I hoping alcohol would do for me? Was I seeking comfort, connection, celebration? Once you see the need, you can meet it in healthier, lasting ways.

Focus on Direction.
One alcohol-free day matters. It’s a win. Every pause you take is evidence that you’re moving toward freedom, clarity, and health. Celebrate the direction you’re heading—not whether the road has been perfect.

The 30 Day Reset Experiment

Sober October is the perfect moment to reset—and that’s exactly what my 30-Day Reset Experiment was designed for.

This isn’t a white-knuckle challenge or a test of willpower. It’s a neuroscience-based journey that shows you:

• Why moderation feels impossible (it’s not your fault—it’s your brain).

• How cravings actually work, and how to respond differently.

• What happens in your body and mind when alcohol steps out of the driver’s seat.

• How to dismantle old beliefs like “I need alcohol to relax” or “I can’t socialize without it.”

Instead of chasing perfection, the Reset gives you tools, science, and support to change direction—for good. Whether you want to reset, moderate, or go alcohol-free, this month is the perfect time to experiment.

👉 Join Finding AFreeLife: 30-Day Reset today

One of my favorite writers, Anne Lamott, puts it this way:

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and is the main obstacle between you and your shitty first draft.”

Sober October isn’t about being perfect. It’s about freeing yourself to see what’s possible. And progress—even messy, imperfect progress—is more than enough.